Riveting Luxembourg News

If you are wondering why you rarely hear news out of Luxembourg, read on.

I get a daily email from the English edition of the Luxembourg newspaper (wort.lu).  From it I find out about many things going on in Luxembourg.  It's a great resource and it always amuses.  Mostly it's a nice diversion away from the heavier news of our world.  It's like a breath of fresh air - news that isn't contaminated with so much unsavoryness.  It's the kind of paper where it's news if someone brings a pet python into a restaurant.

The paper covers International and local news, like yesterday’s top International headline was “North Korea preparing for fourth nuclear test, says South.”  The what-makes-tops-news-algorithm is correct there.  It was then followed by the top Luxembourg headline of the day:

“147km through Cents Tunnel & drunk - goodbye licence!”  It was at 7am on Sunday morning when police caught a driver speeding through Cents Tunnel at 147km per hour instead of the permitted 90km.

Not to diminish the seriousness of drunk driving, but the fact that someone was fined and his license confiscated for fast (not reckless) driving was the biggest news coming out of Luxembourg.  We also learned yesterday that in Luxembourg, you can receive fines and penalty points on your driver’s license as a drunk cyclist (okay) AND as a drunk pedestrian (?).   That’s right, walking while drunk is an actual offense that goes on your driving record.

Yesterday’s second top Luxembourg headline:

“Bar fight leaves one injured.”  The victim of the bar fight received a bite wound to the arm and a bloody nose. An investigation is ongoing.

Both incidents – I mean top stories -- happened on a Sunday night.   No weapons, just a bloody nose and on ongoing investigation.  I want to know if the aggressor was a woman.  The article was curiously silent as to the use of pronouns.   If it was a dude biting another dude, then maybe that is news.  Whatever the cause, it’s understandable that someone might get testy about having to drink one of two uninspiring Luxembourgish beers (Diekirch and Bofferding) when hundreds of better Belgian beers are a mere few kilometers away.  Just don’t drink and cycle there.

But before we get too down on Luxembourg drinking, the two top headlines were followed by a community headline.  It was a feature on one of Luxembourg's world class sommeliers.  “While Luxembourg's wines may be little known beyond the country's borders, its sommeliers rank among the world's finest boasting among others the world's third top sommelier.”   Alright, not the top – but the THIRD top in a super small country is definitely worth celebrating.   I didn’t plan on splitting hairs, but the story then went on to say that the sommelier was actually a Belgian national.  That factoid was below the fold.  Because as we know, it’s all EU Love until you bring wine into it.  Regardless, the Luxembourg wines ARE good and cheap, and if they were exported – they’d find a broad audience.

Moral of the story: don’t drink on Sundays, or you could be a top headline.  But if you do choose to drink, don’t you dare think about drinking French wine.

Going Green

If you were to ask me, “What’s a deciduous tree?” I would answer, “Umm, isn’t it a tree that loses its’ leaves for part of the year?” The “umm” being that unfortunate female pause, the question mark being my own shadow of doubt when it comes to any definitive answer about trees.   Botany and I are not tight.   I know a pine from a maple from an aspen and know that I love cherry blossom trees, but that’s about the depth of my knowledge.  I do know that the tree dying a slow death in our backyard is a Japanese Maple.  That’s because my husband has been in mourning over her for years and he can’t manage the emotional strength to pull her root.  She is deciduously dead, but he keeps her around to hang his bird feeders.

Thank goodness you don’t have to be able to identify tree varieties to enjoy a walk in the park.   I read this week in the NY Times about a study out of Scotland that submits that brain fatigue can be eased by a stroll in green space.   Well duh.  The new part of the study however is that it tracked brain wave patterns of people while walking in a number of environments.   The data showed that the brain was aroused, attentive, and frustrated when in busy urban environments.  Though this wasn’t tracked, I’m sure the data would have skyrocketed had their subject been forced to walk in cities with a kinetic 6 year old who lacks general body control.  It then showed that the brain was still engaged, but quieter, while in green spaces.  We’ll assume for the purposes of this study that it was conducted in a park with responsible dog owners, meaning that it was not done here in Luxembourg.

This past week has been my first full week in Luxembourg with the kids not in school.   And with visitors.  And with Brett working.  My visitors (Brett’s parents) are easy, but kids not in school – not so easy.  By the end of the week, I had run through the short list of things I know to do in this town.  That list is even shorter when it’s 20 degrees and still snowing and everyone the kids know has gotten out of dodge for Spring Break.  We went to YoYo (see older post) three times, for example.   My living room was starting to feel like a bustling, urban concrete jungle, although I wouldn’t have expressed it in quite that way.   Hidden in my frustration with not quite knowing what to do next was actually a low level of boredom.   How embarrassing to admit that.  We’ve traveled and done so much since we’ve been here that I was having a hard time adjusting to the slowdown in diet.  The fatigue of constant stimulation.

We decided to spend Thursday in the car exploring the Ardennes region of Luxembourg on our way to visit a well-known castle in Vianden.  It wasn’t a day trip I was necessarily chomping at the bit to do.  I would have been similarly ambivalent about going to Paris or seeing George Clooney in person (I'm imagining I kept all this negative juju to myself), but I willingly went along for the ride.   Brett was taking the day off work after all.  It was a cold, but sunny day, and the drive was gorgeous.   It was along green rolling hills, sloping valleys, small rivers, wooded areas – an extremely varied area that begged for you to be on your bike (if it were not freezing cold.)  By the time we reached the castle, I felt my attitude improving.   I put my gloves on without complaint, and grabbed for the camera with a sense of awe, not duty.  The castle was wonderful, but it was the drive that was invigorating.   Yes, I thought, the greenery had just restored a tiny piece of my soul.  At least the piece that was feeling blah and restless.

My mother-in-law said that when she is surrounded by the natural world, she is reminded that it exists without needing any of our involvement.   It doesn’t have to be fixed.  And so much else in our world does need fixing.   For those who believe in God, creation is also God’s audacious way of reminding us how much he loves us.  That He would create all this beauty for us to enjoy, whether we know it’s specific tree name or not.   And an engaged but quieter mind allows us to stand back and make connections that are harder to make when everything else if rapid firing.   Whoever had a moment of inspiration while walking through Nordstrom, or tending to a relentless scheduled day, or playing the 9th game of Sequence, or even touring another beautiful European city? 

Tomorrow we are driving to a chalet we rented in Switzerland for the week.  So the travel continues, but this time we get some more practice with quiet green spaces – albeit dotted with snow at higher elevations.   And we’ll have a wood stove to come back too to warm up and share our stories.  (The week after next I’ll have to revisit that fatigue of constant stimulation – more work to do there.)

So go out and idle.  Tomorrow is Easter after all.  Give yourself permission to take a walk in the park (or the Alps).  Just please pick up after your dog.

House Rules

We have our first guests – my inlaws! – coming this Friday.  I am deliriously excited.  Also, I got three emails just yesterday with dates from other visitors.   So it feels like the right time to go through some expectations of house rules here in Luxembourg.

Please don’t ask me which way is North.  It’s only going to be awkward for both of us.  I have no sense of compass.  You may ask if such and such is up or down, or “that way” but I will panic if you throw in an East or West.  Chances are I’ll just say “yes” without having a clue.  This is the most important rule.

In anticipation of your visit, I bought this.  Please comment on it.  I want you to like it. I'm always thinking of practical things my guest might need, like a giant wall QR code.

New piece of art that you will like.​

I will try to keep one bathroom clean for you.  Also, I have big fluffy white towels that I’m saving just for you.  I also have this cool travel box full of compartments in our guest room.   I’m trying to contain myself so that I don’t fill the compartments with travel sized shampoo and razors.  I don’t want to appear over the top, and make you worry that you can’t use the big shampoo in the shower.  Notice the inclusion of the Luxembourg map for all your North/South questions. 

These compartments are sure to be full by the time you arrive.​

Some food photos lie.  Like this one.  I promise to not make it for you.  I was all excited about the fried onion, but nothing can save you from dry rice and al dente lentils.   Whoever suggested that lentils be cooked al dente was seriously misled.   Lesson learned is that you can’t always trust a pretty picture or marinated feta to cover up for a gravelly mess.

This picture is lying to you.​

I used to be all worried about making too much noise in the apartment.  I’m totally over that now, so use your American volume.  There’s maybe only max 10 other people living in our apartment building, so we pretty much have the run of the joint.  We will have a dance party when you are here (of the hip hop variety – we haven’t gone all Flamenco in the two months we’ve been here), and it may even spill out onto the terrace.  You may think I talk about dance parties a lot, and that’s because we haven’t had one here yet and I really, really want one.

You don’t have to offer to help in the kitchen.  In any other kitchen, maybe.  In this small kitchen, it’s best if you just sit with me and have a glass of wine.  And since we are in Luxembourg, it will be white wine.  You may think you want to try to Luxembourg Pinot, but it’s really not good and I’d rather save you some calories.  I have a system in the kitchen and it doesn’t involve four hands. Unless you want to peel garlic.  That would make me reconsider.

See this white table in the kitchen.  This is where I need you to sit.​  (I have a bar stool now.  I wasn't going to make you stand.)

We eat a lot of bread and are obsessed with bakeries.  Please don’t judge us.  We celebrate gluten.

If you were at all interested in running, hiking, or biking, my husband will give you more options than you are prepared to handle. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.  And he will definitely tag along. 

I may suggest that you ride the bus without paying.  This is because bus drivers are more annoyed when you try to pay than if you ride free.  Luxembourg is a rich city, so don’t feel bad about it. The bus driver may make more money than you do.

There are some recycling guidelines.  Best just to hand your trash to Brett.  He’ll re-class what you do anyway.  I’m sorry in advance if this makes you feel uncomfortable.  Join the club.

We won’t make you look at all our travel photos.  It’s kind of gross how many places we’ve been to, I realize that.  I guess I kind of expect that you will have already studied them from my blog anyway.  I will also take a lot of pictures when you are here.   You may edit them as I’ve been known to post a few pictures. Unless you’re a guy, and then I’ll think it’s totally weird that you want to have editorial oversight.

I’m a good driver now, so you can feel safe with me in the car.  It took moving to Europe to become a good driver, but I’m seriously killing it on the pavement.  No hit poles.  No hit cars.  And I can drive the narrow streets almost as good as a sedated 007.

Brett may try to pawn a book he’s read off on you.  He’s already trying to lighten our load for our return trip home.  In this vein, it would actually be great if you are a size 13 shoe.   But talk to me privately about this one.

We have wi-fi in the apartment, but it totally sucks.  I know I mention the wi-fi and internet in every other blog post, but it’s my way of processing.  Better that then sending emails using Google Translate that I will regret.  Everything you watch will buffer.  So if I were to film our dance party and post it on YouTube, you won’t be able to see your dancing in all its glory.

If there is a vitamin you need, I’m sure we have it.  We have a mini Costo in our Cave.  Speaking of the Cave, it’s our storage unit in the basement.  Brett will likely want to show you as he likes to reorganize it.  We only send our children down there for time outs when things get really rough.  That’s where you’ll go if you ask me “Are we looking west?”

(Insert picture of Cave if Brett were writing this post.) 

If you feel like I’m picking on my husband, I only do that in print.  I promise you won’t have to watch us bicker like an old married couple.  I really do like him.

Check in time is open, check out time is open.   Unfortunately, we can offer you only a room not a romantic suite but your children can be sent to the futon, the floor in the boys’ room, or the Cave – whichever you choose.  Breakfast/lunch/dinner is included as long as you follow the kitchen rules.  There is no room tax except your participation in a run/hike/bike with my husband and cleaning of the room is included – but there will be a charge if you steal the white fluffy towels.

Can’t wait to have you!

Some random awesome things

Some random awesome things from this week:

Some awesome things.  Extra virgin coconut oil , cookies in small packaging, Calgon that still "takes you away" 20 years later, and today's vitamins that I'm working up to.​

1. Finding a 2 euro coin in your pocket, which is like finding 10 US quarters but not really because you would know if 10 coins were jingling in your pocket.
2. Finishing a walk to meet someone exactly when your podcast ends.  And then having that someone (your husband) listen to you go on and on about what you heard on the podcast.   Proof is all in the follow up question and strong eye contact.
3. Believing against all odds that you will find a space in the full parking garage along with a half dozen other cars, and then finding the perfect illegal space.
4. Extra virgin coconut oil.  It doesn’t matter why you purchased it (to seal a wood cutting board) or how many places you have to go to find it (five) or why you kept hunting for it (because olive oil could go rancid on your cutting board) because it can do everything.  Not only can you seal with it, cook with it, but it’s also great for skin, hair, face and your entire body -- especially when it’s cold and dry.   You too can go to bed shiny and smelling like a teen on Spring Break!
5. Tweaking your approach (more direct) and tone (borderline snippy) with someone who keeps ignoring you (landlord) and having it work (I got his number!)
6. Swallowing your 7 daily vitamins without invoking your gag reflux.  Yes, Mom, I’m taking D3 and a whole bunch of other things that would make you proud.
7. Stumbling upon an empty wine shop with an English speaking Sommelier who can dumb it down when you offer specific guidance such as: “I like Spanish reds and dry whites.”  And since the place is empty, and you’ve developed a rapport with the Sommelier over a sample of a dry Luxembourg Riesling, you can say: “Tell me everything I should know about Luxembourg wines” without him hating you. 
8. Eight hours of clean bathrooms because everyone with a penis is gone, and then realizing that you really only needed two hours to cross the happiness threshold.
9. A technician troubleshooting your abnormally slow Internet connection not on the phone, or via a virtual web assistant, but finally on premise and in the flesh.  He is here right now face-to-face with that vexing modem.  Wait.  Hold.  The Internet technician has just put me on the phone with someone who can speak English.  She is telling me that the problem is with the entire network in Luxembourg and that it will be 1-2 weeks before it’s fixed.  Wait. Hold.  Then why did you send the Internet technician out to my house?  Okay, this no longer belongs on the awesome things list …. moving on.
10. Having the life experience to know that olives with the pits still in them are a million times tastier.
11. Running up a really steep hill, and then remembering that you can do it because it’s Unesco World Heritage fortress.   If they could do it in the 10th century, then I have no excuse having running shoes, clothes that wick, and chasing after faster friends instead of enemies.  Angela and Ale – watch your back!  I’m coming for you just as soon as these endorphins fire up!
12. “Jean on Jean” and “murses” (man purses) as totally acceptable male fashion choices in Europe.  Jessica spoke it, we’ve seen it, and all our husbands are moving closer towards it – the scarf being the first step.   (My husband is furthest behind.) 
13. Kindle eBooks with Audible’s audiobook.  Ira Glass, I’ve finally taken you up on your plea to try Audible.com.   Read, listen, read and listen if you have attention problems.  So Anne Lammott is reading “Help Thanks Wow” to me while I cook and drive.  Although wow … her voice is not exactly what I expected…
14. Finding that even though something is old, would be expired if it had an expiration date, and in packaging that is circa 1988 – Calgon’s long last bubbles can still get the job done twenty+ years later. 
15. Speaking of packaging, opening a new box of crackers and initially feeling guilty because they are packaged in smaller packages but then be secretly excited that they are lunch sized and also guaranteed to stay fresh.  And then having it happen again with a new box of cookies.
16. Doing one last errand with your gas tank on empty and making it.  Diesel + small car + small country = you can wait for your husband to fill up the tank.
17. Living into your signature color.  Ours is RED.  We have a red couch, red dining chairs, and now a bright red new car (first because it’s our signature color, second because it has GPS, and third because it was what was left on the lot.)  
    
18. Seeing someone you recognize (a barista) in a grocery store on the other side of town who doesn’t know you from Eve but who makes you feel like you’re getting the hang of this new place minus the obligation to chit chat. 
19. Seeing that same barista two days later on a bus on the other, other side of town which either makes you feel like he’s following you or this coincidence means you were destined to say hello.
20. Having someone contact you from your blog contact page for the very first time, and then finding out that they too will be moving to Luxembourg!