As we start Week 2 of this unusual time, some Isolation Observations for my Household:
To the unnamed child in charge of TP restocking. Demand has increased.
Be happy, our family group chat is on that break you wanted.
We stand by what we said the first time. You may not walk up the stairs blindfolded.
I will stop asking if you’ve read a book today if you stop asking me what’s for lunch today.
Occasionally I will put on make-up. I know I’m not going anywhere. Every day I will put on exercise clothes. I may or may not exercise. Of course I know it doesn’t make sense.
To the child in our house named Colin. They’re my slippers. Hand ‘em over.
If I listened to absolutely everything you said, I would be able to name every player on every NBA team and that -- even in current circumstances - would be a complete waste of my time.
Today feels like deja vu? Yeah. Now you know how I feel every time you forget how to use a fork and knife.
I celebrate this opportunity to play more family games. True I might Monopoly Dodge but if I do get roped into playing know that I will be happy to give you a great deal on whatever property you need.
If out of boredom you can make a three point contest out of clean socks and a laundry basket, should I be bullish about a clean up game you can make out of that pile of clothes in your room?
Try to be excited every time I offer to make popcorn. I need an alibi since Family Movie Night can only be used once a day.
By the way, should you get bored with Family Movie Night, Family Book Night or Family Podcast Night is always an option.
Do not move my charger. I am not afraid to Zoombomb your class and rip it out of the wall.
Do move. Your legs hurt and are that purple color because you’ve been sitting too long. While you’re up, may I remind you that the rules of teeth brushing Have. Not. Changed.
Dinner will be ready well before you need to be anywhere. So that may be now, an hour from now, or as part of a big breakfast tomorrow. That’s as specific as I want to be.
What is happening to your hair is not anything either you or I can fix. I imagine this is of more concern to me than you.
Mommy had a secret. Yes sometimes I do take a nap in the middle of the day and I’ll snore if I want to.
If you get restless, remember Daddy’s idea: Fill a backpack with weights and run the stairs in the house. Or I can teach you how to clean a bathroom. The choice is yours.
To the unnamed young adult unexpectedly living with us. Sorry, not sorry. We know it’s hardest on you but man are we happy you’re here.